Starting school for Ruby and then Mummy!

How has it happened? How has 4 years gone by so quickly? I find it hard to believe that my little girl is going to be going to primary school in September.

Starting to get the school uniform!

Last week Ruby attended an open afternoon at the school and she got so excited when she saw one of the teachers, her little face lit up. She ran in as soon as the school gate was opened without even giving me a cuddle or saying goodbye. To be honest I'm not really sure how I feel about that; I love how confident she is and know when it comes to September school will not phase her, but I did really want a goodbye kiss and cuddle! It feels like she's more grown up than her actually age. Ruby will be turning 4 at the end of July and will be one of the youngest in the school year.

The last 4 years has gone by so very quickly; I have had the most amazing time being able to be a stay at home mummy, enjoying the years with her, and to be honest I don't know what I am going to do with myself come September. I will still have Lottie at home with me as we can not afford childcare, so finding a little part time job is not an option, especially as Phil has irregular working hours.

However, looking further ahead I have come to realise that there will be a time in another 3 years, that I will be going through all this again with Lottie; what am I going to do with my life when the girls are at school? I can't just clean the house and socialise, I want something more for me. This weekend I went off to an open day at a local university; I am going to take the plunge and apply to study a midwifery degree!

I have been fascinated about midwifery ever since Ruby was born, and through my voluntary work at both rape crisis and pregnancy sickness support, I know that supporting women is something I really enjoy. I feel so passionate about becoming a midwife and have been very fortunate that the midwives who delivered my babies and cared for me during my pregnancy have been amazing and supportive; I want to give something back and have a career where I feel I am doing good. The money doesn't even come into, although it will help to us move to a bigger house and maybe the girls could have their own room.

I am slightly nervous about the prospect of going to university as I have not studied for a couple of years and to be honest, I am not looking forward to the 12.5 hour shifts; but I know its going to be so worth it. It will be a challenge to gain a place as competition is high but I already meet all the criteria needed to get me onto the course, so that's a good starting place, I just need to get on and write my personal statement and submit it to UCAS in September; everyone please keep your fingers crossed for me! If you have any words of wisdom or advice please share them with me.